B- Movie review: The Archer and the Sorceress (1981)

So, Shitmas is over and the Jollyday season draws to an end. However I am back with a new review for this blog. This time I am looking at a TV-movie from 1981. It's name is The Archer and The Sorceress which mean it's about a dude with a bow. This also means the hero is a complete wanker, because everyone knows bows are coward's weapons. Anyways the movie start with a Narrator saying something like about A World That Never Was and a Time that has been or could yet be. WTF?? I don't understand a word of that, too fucking deep.

Anyway, the Narrator is boring and unfortunately narrates a lot. This movie could have worked well without him. So there are apparently a land with many warring Clans fighting each other but one man who's a king or something tries to unite them. The king is successful because he and the other Clan Chiefs get drunk, and diplomacy work berst while drunk. And then there are some Green People who wants to conquer them. They are evil because they're green. And their leader is not green, but he has a great laugh. Let's call him Evil Laughs. I like Evil Laughs because he laughs and all villains should do that. The king is played by a really bad actor (George Kennedy) who has some GLOOOORIOUS BAD ACTING MOMENTS!!!  It's a pity there aren't more scenes with the king.

The hero of the movie is the king's son who inherits a magic bow from his master. The hero is falsely accused for the murder of his father and sets out to seek his father's teacher named Lazalala or something. Then there is this Sorceress who has a blood feud with the hero's family, but decides to not kill the hero for none apparent reason. She still wants to kill Lazalala because she thinks he manipulated the hero's grandfather to kill her mother. (Yes it's quite confusing indeed). There is also a dude in a monster costume, but he gets killed of early. Then there are the comic reliefs, the Gambler and the Pigbearman. They are not funny, and unfortunately it's the Gambler who joins the hero on his quest and not the Pigbearman. The Pigbearman was indeed more interesting. They also meet a Mayor in a city they visit. He's great because he's overacting every line, and seems to have fun with it.

Since this is a tv-movie it's cheap like shit. It also seems to have too much plot for a short movie. Some subplots get disappointing resolutions, while others aren't resolved at all. When the movie end they still haven't found Lazalala and we don't know whether Evil Laughs survived or not. They were probably either hoping to make sequels or to use the movie to launch a TV-series. Thus the main plot remains unresolved. The bad acting isn't awesome enough, and the script seems mostly confusing. This one is not that great. It's not horrible, but neither is it really worth a watch.