The movie start with a messenger arriving in Attila's Camp with a medallion in the shape of a Roman Double Eagle. This medallion makes Attila flash back to a time when a beautiful blonde woman was his lover. We hear some boring narration I can't understand a word of, but I get that this woman was very important to Attila. Her name seem to be Honoria and Attila decide to find her. He find her quickly and it turn out she has given him a son (around 9 years old or so). Then they are suddenly attacked by some dudes, but Tarkan and Kurt arrive to help Attila fight them off, but too late Honoria and Attila's son are taken to an evil king who punish his soldiers for failing to kill Attila by killing them by pit, spikes and snake while practising an awesome evil laugh. It seems the bad guys in this one are the Vandals, since their name are dropped alot. And then we see an exotic bar/ inn/ brothel with exotic dancers/ whores, and oh my, the Vandal queen seem to be secretly a Prostitute! And meanwhile the Vandal Vizier rapes Honoria, oh my, such a lovely Court!!
Then we see a Vandal Emissary arrive at the Hunnic Camp delivering a dead Honoria, which means the Vizier killed her after the rape. So Tarkan rides out to save Attila's son but soon decide to stay at an inn, or the same inn that turn up in every Tarkan movie! I swear, it's the same one, they don't change anything. Shame, Turkey, suspension of disbelief destroyed. Anyway Tarkan is attacked by a group of fools, but it seems Tarkan and the Main Fool are old friends (I have no idea who that is though). So the fools help Tarkan infiltrate the Vandal town, one of them dressed as a Woman Apple Seller and the rest hidden in her/ his barrels. And then they help Tarkan in, by giving him a rope so he can climb the wall. So after some sword-fighting they settle down at the exotic bar/ inn/ brothel. It seems the Main Fool and the Ugly Matron are a couple (yuck). However the Queen arrive disguised as a Prostitute, but the Main Fool and Tarkan fools her (HA!), and Tarkan easily disarm the dagger she was hiding in her attempt to play the role as an assassin, while the Main Fool was hiding under the bed (kinky). So they force her to show them her secret tunnel to the Palace. Meanwhile the rest of the Fools are also infiltrating the Palace. I like the stealth approach this mission has, refreshing considering there usually just are alot of big brawls. So with the help of some High Circus Antics the Fools, Tarkan and Kurt saves Attila's son and leave the Vandal Town.
But meanwhile the Vizier has a Witch spying on Tarkan through some Magic Mumbo Jumbos. Tarkan and the Main Fool sleep at the same inn as earlier. The Innkeeper's daughter seem to be the Main Fool's girlfriend (much better than the Ugly Matron). But thanks to the Witch the Vandals catch up with them, so Tarkan and the Main Fool decide to fight them while the Innkeeper's daughter ride off with Attila's son. However she is killed by a magic spider web, so the Witch takes Attila's son. Tarkan follow her tracks to... wait, this landscape is awfully familiar. This is the same place the Witch in the 1970 movie lurked in. It's THE SAME WITCH! She seem to have recovered remarkably well from death. So, at the Witch's place Tarkan fight a dude made of pure gold, whose weakness it that his eyes are real.
Oh, my, did the Witch just RAPE TARKAN??!!
So Tarkan is brainwashed by the Witch and ride up to Attila's camp to try to kill him, but fails. Then the Main Fool and Kurt are able to break the hex, and Tarkan is released from the curse, just to escape from his own execution. He joins up with the Main Fool and Kurt again. Meanwhile in Vandal Town the King and the Witch are celebrating. The queen is ousted for being a Prostitute and is killed. The Fools infiltrate Vandal Town and the Party dressed up as Fools!! And then we have the final big brawl: Kurt vs, Snake, Fools vs. Soldiers, Tarkan vs. Everyone. The King, the Vizier and the Witch are all killed (although the Witch might just get better again), and Attila's son is rescued, HOORRAY!!
So it was a great ride again. This time Tarkan had much help from the Fools, in one way making it more realistic, since it was less a One-Man-Show than before. But on the other hand the Fools kind of stole the show, Tarkan couldn't have done it without them. Also Kurt is awesome!!
No comments:
Post a Comment